Below is another, longer, quote from Jacques Philippe and his book ‘Interior Freedom’. I am endlessly fascinated with the different ways people think, behave, react, respond etc. The more we understand one another, the more compassion and curiosity we can feel - and, of course, the better we can communicate. I’m a reflector and I know that drives my daughter round the bend at times because I take forever to make a decision. But she’s learned that is the way I operate. It is easy to pick up that my son is extrovert and loud but you might not so easily discern his sensitivity. So how can we look for the positive aspects behind the behaviours in others that grate on our personality?
Here is the quote:
“Our different ways of expressing ourselves, and different psychological filters, make it hard to perceive one another’s real intentions. People have very different and sometimes conflicting temperaments and ways of seeing things, and that is something to be recognized and accepted cheerfully. Some love to have everything in order and are upset by the slightest disorder. Others feel stifled when everything is overly organized and regulated. Those who love order feel threatened by anyone who leaves the smallest object out of place; those with the opposite temperament feel they are being attacked by anyone who insists on perfect tidiness. We are quick to attach moral judgments to such behavior, calling what pleases us “good” and what doesn’t “bad.” Examples abound. We must be careful not to turn our families and communities into permanent war zones divided between defenders of order and defenders of freedom, partisans of punctuality and partisans of easygoingness, lovers of peace and quiet and lovers of exuberance, early birds and night owls, chatterers and taciturn types…and so on. We need to accept other people just as they are, understand that their approach and values are not the same as ours, and to broaden our minds and soften our hearts toward them. That isn’t easy. It means seeing our own wisdom in relative terms and becoming small and humble. We must learn to renounce the pride we take in being right, which often prevents us from entering into the other person’s thoughts; and that is extremely hard.
Interior Freedom (p. 62). Scepter Publishers. Kindle Edition.