As a coach it is an important part of my work with people to distinguish between the barriers that hold them back and the boundaries that are needed.
For example - there was a mother, whose influence over her adult daughter resulted in the daughter having no boundaries. Whenever what she wanted conflicted with her mother’s wishes, she did what her mother wanted. It went beyond that because her behaviour was inhibited by what she assumed her mother might think.
Who is influencing your decisions? When do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’? How often do you feel angry at yourself for the way you let others dominate you - even when you know that is not their conscious intention.
The good news is that setting healthy boundaries can be learned. And with the help of a coach (pick me!) you can establish boundaries both in your personal relationships and at work. You will gradually take responsibility for what is within your boundaries and not be laden with those that belong to others. You will be free to make choices that fit with your vision, intentions and values. You will define who you are and who you are not and develop your ‘no’ muscle. Your empowerment will mean you will longer retreat into blaming others or feeling like a victim. You will respond rather than react and deal with others with grace - accepting them for who they are - while persevering to walk tall as the real you.