So, there’s this great story of a man going away on a journey and speaking to three men who worked for him. He gave one 3 talents (one talent being worth about 20 years of a labourer’s wages = a lot), one 2 talents and to the third 1 talent. You may be familiar with this story. The first two men used their talents and doubled their worth by the time the boss came back. But the third thought about all the trouble he might get into if his choices went wrong and so he just buried it.
Right - now think of talents being things you are good at or would love to have the opportunity to use, if you had the chance, rather than money. Now consider what you don’t do because you are afraid it might go wrong. As a result, you bury the talent that you would like to use because you know you have much to learn in order for it to add value in the workplace or enhance your out of work life.
Hmmm. What is stirring in you right now?
About 17 years ago I had a friend (yes really!) and he seemed to me to be full of unused talents. So I gave him the benefit of my advice and continued to encourage him. That was my perspective anyway. He, on the other hand, got fed up with it and ended up saying “Shelagh, I know you think you know what is best for me but I don’t agree and I don’t want to change”. That cut continued to hurt for some time. All I wanted to do was help. But I needed to learn how to do so effectively. My talent needed to be ‘invested’.
About 8 years later I trained to be a coach. Here I learned how to listen at a deep level; how to ask big open questions that would help my clients think outside their self-limitations. I learned that my desire to help people was best served in journeying with them as they discovered for themselves what they wanted from life and to make their own decisions based on their learning and not from someone else’s advice. Of course there is a time and place for advice to be given, but not by the coach. We exist to serve our clients and use our training and experience to help and encourage them as they learn more about themselves, the desires of their heart, the reality of their situation and the possibilities and options that are there for the taking.
What a privilege it is. I’m so glad that the sting of my friend’s comment eventually led me to find a way of helping that would be effective and liberating for my clients; and also a way of relating to family and friends that keeps me listening and asking questions that help me understand them and their situation better.
If you would like to get a feel of what it is like to have the support of a coach, please message me and we can have an exploratory chat. I’m for you.