Learning from the Woodpecker

There’s a Greater Spotted Woodpecker that visits my garden and has worked out a way of eating the sunflower seeds that other birds of it’s size can’t manage to do. While small birds sit on the bar and bend down to the seeds, the woodpecker hangs on and reaches up. Thus displaying his pretty orangey-pink tummy. He worked out how to adapt his feeding style to the circumstances. The blackbirds haven’t worked it out.

How will you adapt to the multiple changes that Covid has forced upon you? What do you need to consider in this new year? How will you find a rhythm in a life that currently seems so uncertain? What will bring you peace? I can help you untangle, prioritise and put in place a framework that will stand the buffeting that change brings. Not a new you - a full you, flexible and flying free. Message me or contact me via the website. I’m full of hope for you.

Approaching the end of 2020

Time for reflection isn’t it?

What have you done?

What have you left undone?

How will you want to look back on 2021? Yes, I know we will still have restrictions, but we will continue to be able to make choices that will impact the present and the future. So what will be important to do and be in the coming year?

There have been times in this odd year when it has been too easy to ‘let things go’ - do you agree? But that lack of energy can become a habit and dull the senses to what is good and positive.

So I am resolved to reflect over the coming week on what I really, REALLY want for the coming year. For me, I know it will be around how I engage, in whatever I do, with quality. Letting all my senses savour the positive aspects and learning from what upsets or challenges me. And also to learn a new rhythm that will suit the changes I have made and aid peace of mind.

I remember someone talking to me about losing weight. After she had reached her target she allowed herself the occasional treat. However, she only went for quality. An expensive and exquisite chocolate; a croissant that was light and crisp. Not for her was a cheap old bar of chocolate or a flabby croissant. She savoured quality in her choices.

How might you want to experience living life to the full in 2021? Perhaps you will be able to take your first steps towards the kind of living your heart yearns for.

• What will you no longer do that was taking your time without giving anything back?

• What are you holding onto that you know is not healthy for you - what you watch, read, eat, or a relationship?

• What are you tolerating?

I have many more questions to help you unlock how you can live life to the full. Do message me and we can arrange to have a complimentary call..

How are you doing?

I’m in Tier 4. So the normal family Christmas of 16+ people will be reduced to me, my daughter and her 3-month old baby. How fortunate I feel to have them next door as my ‘bubble’.

What has struck me, several times, in the last 9 months, is how often people talk about change, the new normal and getting back to normal. One thing we have learned, increased in the new variant of Covid, is that change can happen quickly, taking us by surprise. Then when it persists, we wonder if we will ever get back to normal. At this point we are in danger of losing hope and positive vision for the future. A bit like when you have a tummy bug and you can’t remember what it feels like to be well because you are so consumed with feeling sick.

But I’m here to encourage you; you are far more resilient than you give yourself credit for. 2021 will continue to have challenges around Covid but you can find your way into the future you want despite that. You can become stronger, more persevering, increasing your ability to think creatively and you can choose to put these strengths into the context of being a caring and compassionate person. Your wellbeing for 2021 and beyond is in your hands. I’m here to support you too; that’s what I do as a coach - help you to clarify the vision you want to make reality; review your context realistically; then make a plan to bring the dream into reality and take action. There’s much fun to be had in 2021 - whatever Covid dictates.

For now, look for every bit of joy that is to be had, whatever Tier you are in. Merry Christmas.

What behaviours from others would you like to be vaccinated against?

I’m curious - what are your suggestions?

What ‘vaccine’ would help you to be healthier in body, mind, emotions and spirit?

I would choose to have a vaccine that would protect me from the behaviours of people who are: #bullying, #controlling, #unkind, #disempowering, #selfish.

Christmas will be different this year, of course, and life will continue to be restricted for several months. So what are we hoping for? Christmas is a season when we get the family films, gifts exchanged, meals eaten with family and friends. All that will be a bit different this year. I’m usually with at least 16 family members but this year there will be 7.

What is is usually like for you? Tempers can get frayed and some may show their unkind or selfish side. Some will want their own way - who has the remote control and decides on what to watch in your family gatherings after the meal and walk?

As we think of this different Christmas and what we hope for, what are you noticing by reflecting on Christmases in the past? What nice things might have a chance to show themselves?

How will you decide to ‘be’? If there’s a controlling person amongst you, how will you choose to show up without a vaccine to protect you? What courage will you decide to demonstrate to prevent them doing a take over?

I hope that none of us will feel the need for a vaccine against negative behaviours and that we will enjoy one another’s company at a deeper, more relational and positive level.

If you’d like to have a discovery call with me and use it to talk through how you will be empowered to fully enjoy your Christmas with the people you spend time with - do get in touch.

Blue skies and sunshine

Sometimes life can feel relentless - rain, wind, difficult colleagues, passive people who make no effort. Then the sun comes out, you notice the buds on the shrubs and trees, in the garden or park, that promise spring will bring colour and warmth after the winter - and something within you feels like that bud that is waiting for its situation to change so it can burst forth. Oh yes you can! Whatever it is, if it’s a yearning that feels forever a pregnancy and never a birth - yes you can. And you may need a midwife to help, encourage and tend to you through the process!

I love working with people, hearing their stories and the things that have got in the way of them fulfilling dreams and ambitions. Then, when they have felt it all hopeless, a new way of looking at a situation brings a shaft of light. Take Darren (not his real name), his heart was in his boots. Constant changes in the team, changes in offices that and management had left him feeling disrespected, side-lined and plain lonely at work. He thought of how it had been a few years before when the team worked together creatively and felt sad for the loss. We explored what he really wanted, deep down. He told me his dream would be to take early retirement but that was impossible.

So we looked at the ways that he might make changes at work that would make things better. He wanted to do that. Then he became ready to think of the ‘impossible’ and he started to take some small steps into conversations with the relevant people, it became less impossible. Gradually he felt empowered to ask for what he wanted, having planned who to talk to, what he would say and how he would approach it all. I’m happy to say that he got the happy ending to his career that he wanted and now travels the country with his wife and the caravan and gets better and better as a painter and blesses various charities with his volunteering. A happy fulfilled life that he had thought impossible to achieve so early.

There are many such stories that I have from my courageous clients; and the sunshine in my life comes out when I see that look on their face when they realise that the change they want IS possible.

What situation is making you sad today?

What change, even if small, would bring the sun out from behind the clouds?

Would you like some ‘midwife’ support from me to bring that change about?