TWILIGHT

TWILIGHT

 Would you describe yourself as being ‘in the twilight of life’?

Perhaps you are heading for retirement age.

OR

Maybe something in life is coming to an end.

How do you feel about it? Change is coming and perhaps it is simply inevitable or unwelcome.

What opportunities might there be?

When I hit 50 I felt I needed therapy but when 60 came, after a moment of hesitation, I recognised there was a peace. I’ve had several career changes and I’m currently building my coaching and spiritual direction business, which feels good. Working in the area I love most – helping people to grow into the fullness of themselves. I do not have any need to compete; I feel no desire to fill my calendar up to make mega bucks because I like living at a slower, more contemplative, pace. No more commuting long distances and, because I’m no longer spinning plates, I can give people my undivided attention.

 If you are in that twilight time, or facing the ending of something, you might benefit from considering what is important to you at this age and stage of life.

I’d love to support you to think wide and deep – outside of any self-imposed limitations. Do book a complimentary discovery call with me to start your new adventure.

Humility is the oil

A friend of mine is enjoying reading the book “Remarkable” by Dr R Ross and D Salyers, which is described as a leadership parable. I was intrigued by some of the quotes she cited:

“Humility is the “oil” that allows you to shift smoothly into growth gear”. So how would you describe humility in this context? (Note that I haven’t read the book so I’m taking quotes out of context). I think this is the leader who listens attentively to the team. This kind of leader isn’t a know-it-all; they are constantly curious and willing to be flexible.

“Where trust is high, resistance is low, therefore change and progress come quickly.” When you feel heard you develop trust. You don’t have to fight or strive. Along with your colleagues you will come to decisions and that flow will enable progress.

“A compelling culture is created when people:

• believe the best IN one another;

• want the best FOR one another;

• expect the best FROM one another.”

Expectations are so important. They give clarity and we can gain confidence as a result. That compelling culture is one I think we’d all like to work in. It’s interdependent and encouraging.

Do you want to be that kind of a leader? Now is the time to start developing your leadership skills. I’m here to help you explore how you can be the oil in the works. Get in touch to start the journey.

One month to live

If that was your prognosis but you felt well - what would you want to do in that time. The chances are that it would be to spend time with your favourite people and let them know you love them. I’m guessing that, for over 90% of those of working age, going to work would not get a look in.

We spend such a large part of our waking hours at work; so making that the best it can be is really important. We talk about work-life balance, usually in respect of making sure we don’t work too many hours and have enough time and energy for friends, family, sport, hobbies etc. But how about we look through the lens of having a working life balance AT work?

So, close your eyes and think of work. What is the feeling that comes to you? A grip in the tummy as you think of difficult situations? An inward smile and feeling of warmth as you think of being with the team and the humour shared? An energy as you think of the challenge within a new project?

Now and again it is worth considering whether your job is giving you what is important to you. Is it the work you do or the people you work with that encourages you each day? Is there enough of what you enjoy? If there isn’t, perhaps there is a way to change that, while staying in the same role or organisation. Or maybe it is worth considering a bigger change.

It can be tricky to work through these things on our own; we will usually benefit by talking it through with someone who can help us to see the situation from different perspectives. A coach is trained to do just that. Help you see through different lens, notice the blind spots, the opportunities and consider them with realism as well as hope.

If it’s time to look at work - or any aspect of life - to appreciate what you have and how you can make it better or make a sizeable change, please contact me to take advantage of my offer of a free discovery coaching session.

Abandoning Melancholy

I was having a conversation with someone a few days ago, who talked of his growing sense of melancholy in respect of the social restrictions of Covid lockdown. Weary is another word with which I resonated.

It’s not just Covid that can cause such negative feelings; it can be a job that seems to be going nowhere and you know you are just going through the motions; or a lifestyle - hobbies, friendships etc. - that no longer energise or give pleasure or affect you negatively. You tell yourself to shake out of it but that melancholia remains and life seems DULL.

Change is calling you; courage may be needed; discernment will definitely be required - no throwing baby out with the bathwater! Some life-giving changes are big but sometimes a big difference will be made through a tweak here and there. The main thing is to investigate what is no longer working and get the help of a coach (me!) to engender vision, bring some clarity and find the actions that will set you on the path to a life that makes you happy to jump out of bed at the start each day.

Please get in touch for a complimentary call to experience how helpful a programme of coaching could be for you. Message me or go onto my website, link in the first comment. Let’s get going!

Learning from the Woodpecker

There’s a Greater Spotted Woodpecker that visits my garden and has worked out a way of eating the sunflower seeds that other birds of it’s size can’t manage to do. While small birds sit on the bar and bend down to the seeds, the woodpecker hangs on and reaches up. Thus displaying his pretty orangey-pink tummy. He worked out how to adapt his feeding style to the circumstances. The blackbirds haven’t worked it out.

How will you adapt to the multiple changes that Covid has forced upon you? What do you need to consider in this new year? How will you find a rhythm in a life that currently seems so uncertain? What will bring you peace? I can help you untangle, prioritise and put in place a framework that will stand the buffeting that change brings. Not a new you - a full you, flexible and flying free. Message me or contact me via the website. I’m full of hope for you.

How are you doing?

I’m in Tier 4. So the normal family Christmas of 16+ people will be reduced to me, my daughter and her 3-month old baby. How fortunate I feel to have them next door as my ‘bubble’.

What has struck me, several times, in the last 9 months, is how often people talk about change, the new normal and getting back to normal. One thing we have learned, increased in the new variant of Covid, is that change can happen quickly, taking us by surprise. Then when it persists, we wonder if we will ever get back to normal. At this point we are in danger of losing hope and positive vision for the future. A bit like when you have a tummy bug and you can’t remember what it feels like to be well because you are so consumed with feeling sick.

But I’m here to encourage you; you are far more resilient than you give yourself credit for. 2021 will continue to have challenges around Covid but you can find your way into the future you want despite that. You can become stronger, more persevering, increasing your ability to think creatively and you can choose to put these strengths into the context of being a caring and compassionate person. Your wellbeing for 2021 and beyond is in your hands. I’m here to support you too; that’s what I do as a coach - help you to clarify the vision you want to make reality; review your context realistically; then make a plan to bring the dream into reality and take action. There’s much fun to be had in 2021 - whatever Covid dictates.

For now, look for every bit of joy that is to be had, whatever Tier you are in. Merry Christmas.

What behaviours from others would you like to be vaccinated against?

I’m curious - what are your suggestions?

What ‘vaccine’ would help you to be healthier in body, mind, emotions and spirit?

I would choose to have a vaccine that would protect me from the behaviours of people who are: #bullying, #controlling, #unkind, #disempowering, #selfish.

Christmas will be different this year, of course, and life will continue to be restricted for several months. So what are we hoping for? Christmas is a season when we get the family films, gifts exchanged, meals eaten with family and friends. All that will be a bit different this year. I’m usually with at least 16 family members but this year there will be 7.

What is is usually like for you? Tempers can get frayed and some may show their unkind or selfish side. Some will want their own way - who has the remote control and decides on what to watch in your family gatherings after the meal and walk?

As we think of this different Christmas and what we hope for, what are you noticing by reflecting on Christmases in the past? What nice things might have a chance to show themselves?

How will you decide to ‘be’? If there’s a controlling person amongst you, how will you choose to show up without a vaccine to protect you? What courage will you decide to demonstrate to prevent them doing a take over?

I hope that none of us will feel the need for a vaccine against negative behaviours and that we will enjoy one another’s company at a deeper, more relational and positive level.

If you’d like to have a discovery call with me and use it to talk through how you will be empowered to fully enjoy your Christmas with the people you spend time with - do get in touch.