TWILIGHT

TWILIGHT

 Would you describe yourself as being ‘in the twilight of life’?

Perhaps you are heading for retirement age.

OR

Maybe something in life is coming to an end.

How do you feel about it? Change is coming and perhaps it is simply inevitable or unwelcome.

What opportunities might there be?

When I hit 50 I felt I needed therapy but when 60 came, after a moment of hesitation, I recognised there was a peace. I’ve had several career changes and I’m currently building my coaching and spiritual direction business, which feels good. Working in the area I love most – helping people to grow into the fullness of themselves. I do not have any need to compete; I feel no desire to fill my calendar up to make mega bucks because I like living at a slower, more contemplative, pace. No more commuting long distances and, because I’m no longer spinning plates, I can give people my undivided attention.

 If you are in that twilight time, or facing the ending of something, you might benefit from considering what is important to you at this age and stage of life.

I’d love to support you to think wide and deep – outside of any self-imposed limitations. Do book a complimentary discovery call with me to start your new adventure.

Vision and Direction

VISION AND DIRECTION

I’ve just been with a small group of friends, discussing my vision and the things that could get in the way.

As we talked, I had a new idea of how the direction of travel to the vision could be different.

My vision is to be able to have people come to my home and, particularly, the garden, for a quiet day. Perhaps having some coaching or spiritual direction from me during the day. But mostly to rest and get a sense of the peace that is beyond human understanding.

The humour of the situation is that my garden is surrounded by 9 others. One has a baby, one a 5-year-old, one is a child-minder and there are three girls who like screaming on a trampoline. Hmm, quiet days.

I wonder if my vision might be reached in an alternative way. Maybe the baby next door, my grandson, will be the means of my meeting worn out mums and grandparents who’ve lost their sense of identity in retirement. Perhaps they will need a cup of tea and an attentive listener and the sounds of children playing won’t matter.

Problems in the journey towards realising a vision may not be the detour or block you perceive; it might be that while you caught the vision, you just needed to adjust the pathway to achieving it. I could help you unpack this.

Humility is the oil

A friend of mine is enjoying reading the book “Remarkable” by Dr R Ross and D Salyers, which is described as a leadership parable. I was intrigued by some of the quotes she cited:

“Humility is the “oil” that allows you to shift smoothly into growth gear”. So how would you describe humility in this context? (Note that I haven’t read the book so I’m taking quotes out of context). I think this is the leader who listens attentively to the team. This kind of leader isn’t a know-it-all; they are constantly curious and willing to be flexible.

“Where trust is high, resistance is low, therefore change and progress come quickly.” When you feel heard you develop trust. You don’t have to fight or strive. Along with your colleagues you will come to decisions and that flow will enable progress.

“A compelling culture is created when people:

• believe the best IN one another;

• want the best FOR one another;

• expect the best FROM one another.”

Expectations are so important. They give clarity and we can gain confidence as a result. That compelling culture is one I think we’d all like to work in. It’s interdependent and encouraging.

Do you want to be that kind of a leader? Now is the time to start developing your leadership skills. I’m here to help you explore how you can be the oil in the works. Get in touch to start the journey.

One month to live

If that was your prognosis but you felt well - what would you want to do in that time. The chances are that it would be to spend time with your favourite people and let them know you love them. I’m guessing that, for over 90% of those of working age, going to work would not get a look in.

We spend such a large part of our waking hours at work; so making that the best it can be is really important. We talk about work-life balance, usually in respect of making sure we don’t work too many hours and have enough time and energy for friends, family, sport, hobbies etc. But how about we look through the lens of having a working life balance AT work?

So, close your eyes and think of work. What is the feeling that comes to you? A grip in the tummy as you think of difficult situations? An inward smile and feeling of warmth as you think of being with the team and the humour shared? An energy as you think of the challenge within a new project?

Now and again it is worth considering whether your job is giving you what is important to you. Is it the work you do or the people you work with that encourages you each day? Is there enough of what you enjoy? If there isn’t, perhaps there is a way to change that, while staying in the same role or organisation. Or maybe it is worth considering a bigger change.

It can be tricky to work through these things on our own; we will usually benefit by talking it through with someone who can help us to see the situation from different perspectives. A coach is trained to do just that. Help you see through different lens, notice the blind spots, the opportunities and consider them with realism as well as hope.

If it’s time to look at work - or any aspect of life - to appreciate what you have and how you can make it better or make a sizeable change, please contact me to take advantage of my offer of a free discovery coaching session.

Trusting, Listening, Watching, Exploring and Wondering

Life is a bit of a mystery isn’t it? And that can be both daunting and exciting, especially when something unexpected comes along.

As we live within this mystery, I would suggest that the journey into a fulfilling life can be helped by adopting the following:

1. Trusting that there is a route that will take us towards our best self

2. Listening to the positive inner voice of our champion (rather than the saboteur that spews negatives) and to others who we know care for us

3. Watching for those signs that come up by ‘coincidence’ and a pervading sense of peace despite any nervousness about making changes, thereby affirming our direction of travel

4. Exploring and testing out new ideas/behaviours/rhythms in life just as we might try on a piece of clothing to see if it fits and suits us

5. Wondering - with a sense of awe as, through our mindful choices, our life takes a healthy direction that causes us to flourish.

It is never too late to make changes that will put you on the road to fulfilment. I’d love to be your companion on that journey. Contact me for a discovery call to see if you want to invite me along!

Learning from babies

They learn so FAST. My youngest grandson is 4 months old. Each DAY he learns something new. Today’s development was reaching for something and using both hands to get it to his mouth. He had to keep trying and he succeeded - though he hasn’t yet caught onto the fact that you have to let go, otherwise what you lifted to your mouth comes out again!

We get slower in learning as time goes by but what is important to remember is to keep trying. Don’t give up. Build your ‘muscles’ as you learn new things. Don’t be embarrassed about the failures on the way. Celebrate the progress. AND - learn how and when to let go.

Some years ago I knew someone who had not passed his probation in a finance job. Family had expected him to go into that line of work but it was not his strength. He found it really difficult to let go and discern where his true strengths lay. Are you holding onto an ambition that is a poor fit? When you work to your strengths it is SO much easier; you will find life begins to flow; you won’t be so exhausted and have more energy to give to the rest of life.

I’d love to help you explore your strengths so that you can be set free to flourish in all aspects of life. Please contact me for a complimentary discovery call for your first breakthrough.

Lengthening days & strategic plans

Hurrah! The days are getting longer. I’m starting to plan what I will change in the garden and think about what I haven’t yet done - such as treat the fruit trees with anti-fungal spray.

I’m also planning my own business; what will the rhythm be that will bring in the income I want and give time for other pursuits? Having decided on my RAP and TAP programmes (Rapid Action Programme and Transformational Programme) how do I best promote it so that the people I know I can support, will find me?

What loose ends need tying up right now in your life? What is your strategy for the next few years? How are you doing with the plan to bring your vision into being? Have your prioritised actions effectively so that nothing falls through the gaps? What ARE the gaps? How have you included flexibility in order to meet the changing landscape we face because of the global pandemic? Do you have a sense of joy and expectation as you put strategy and plans together?

I’m ready and fully able to help you in all of this. Having a pair of ears to hear your answers to the above helps you to decide on and take action and then evaluate outcomes. Don’t battle on alone, contact me for a free discovery call. I’m for you.

Let your light shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

This is a very important quote for me and explains my purpose in being a coach. Nelson Mandela also used it in a speech when he became President. In my work I want every client to be liberated into letting their own light shine. Start your journey into self-liberation and out of playing small by having a free discovery call with me.

Out of control

That’s what it feels like to me when watching the videos of the behaviour of Trump supporters last Wednesday. Now there is fear about what might happen over the coming week.

Then we have the Covid virus that seems to be out of control. The vaccine will win but we have a way to go before it does.

So how are you doing? Does your life seem out of your control at the moment? Does fear or anxiety wake you up in the night?

I’ve worked with many people who, for one reason or another, have felt that they were not in control at home or at work, either because they were not heard or because their lack of confidence made them defer to others all the time. So their ideas were taken forward by those others who got the praise or difficult situations were made worse because their suggested approach was talked down.

Coaching is empowering and I would love to work with you to help the true you step up and out into your power, calling and gifting. Don’t tolerate your situation any longer; contact me for a complimentary discovery call to get a taste of the power of coaching. I’m for you.

Abandoning Melancholy

I was having a conversation with someone a few days ago, who talked of his growing sense of melancholy in respect of the social restrictions of Covid lockdown. Weary is another word with which I resonated.

It’s not just Covid that can cause such negative feelings; it can be a job that seems to be going nowhere and you know you are just going through the motions; or a lifestyle - hobbies, friendships etc. - that no longer energise or give pleasure or affect you negatively. You tell yourself to shake out of it but that melancholia remains and life seems DULL.

Change is calling you; courage may be needed; discernment will definitely be required - no throwing baby out with the bathwater! Some life-giving changes are big but sometimes a big difference will be made through a tweak here and there. The main thing is to investigate what is no longer working and get the help of a coach (me!) to engender vision, bring some clarity and find the actions that will set you on the path to a life that makes you happy to jump out of bed at the start each day.

Please get in touch for a complimentary call to experience how helpful a programme of coaching could be for you. Message me or go onto my website, link in the first comment. Let’s get going!

Learning from the Woodpecker

There’s a Greater Spotted Woodpecker that visits my garden and has worked out a way of eating the sunflower seeds that other birds of it’s size can’t manage to do. While small birds sit on the bar and bend down to the seeds, the woodpecker hangs on and reaches up. Thus displaying his pretty orangey-pink tummy. He worked out how to adapt his feeding style to the circumstances. The blackbirds haven’t worked it out.

How will you adapt to the multiple changes that Covid has forced upon you? What do you need to consider in this new year? How will you find a rhythm in a life that currently seems so uncertain? What will bring you peace? I can help you untangle, prioritise and put in place a framework that will stand the buffeting that change brings. Not a new you - a full you, flexible and flying free. Message me or contact me via the website. I’m full of hope for you.

Approaching the end of 2020

Time for reflection isn’t it?

What have you done?

What have you left undone?

How will you want to look back on 2021? Yes, I know we will still have restrictions, but we will continue to be able to make choices that will impact the present and the future. So what will be important to do and be in the coming year?

There have been times in this odd year when it has been too easy to ‘let things go’ - do you agree? But that lack of energy can become a habit and dull the senses to what is good and positive.

So I am resolved to reflect over the coming week on what I really, REALLY want for the coming year. For me, I know it will be around how I engage, in whatever I do, with quality. Letting all my senses savour the positive aspects and learning from what upsets or challenges me. And also to learn a new rhythm that will suit the changes I have made and aid peace of mind.

I remember someone talking to me about losing weight. After she had reached her target she allowed herself the occasional treat. However, she only went for quality. An expensive and exquisite chocolate; a croissant that was light and crisp. Not for her was a cheap old bar of chocolate or a flabby croissant. She savoured quality in her choices.

How might you want to experience living life to the full in 2021? Perhaps you will be able to take your first steps towards the kind of living your heart yearns for.

• What will you no longer do that was taking your time without giving anything back?

• What are you holding onto that you know is not healthy for you - what you watch, read, eat, or a relationship?

• What are you tolerating?

I have many more questions to help you unlock how you can live life to the full. Do message me and we can arrange to have a complimentary call..

How are you doing?

I’m in Tier 4. So the normal family Christmas of 16+ people will be reduced to me, my daughter and her 3-month old baby. How fortunate I feel to have them next door as my ‘bubble’.

What has struck me, several times, in the last 9 months, is how often people talk about change, the new normal and getting back to normal. One thing we have learned, increased in the new variant of Covid, is that change can happen quickly, taking us by surprise. Then when it persists, we wonder if we will ever get back to normal. At this point we are in danger of losing hope and positive vision for the future. A bit like when you have a tummy bug and you can’t remember what it feels like to be well because you are so consumed with feeling sick.

But I’m here to encourage you; you are far more resilient than you give yourself credit for. 2021 will continue to have challenges around Covid but you can find your way into the future you want despite that. You can become stronger, more persevering, increasing your ability to think creatively and you can choose to put these strengths into the context of being a caring and compassionate person. Your wellbeing for 2021 and beyond is in your hands. I’m here to support you too; that’s what I do as a coach - help you to clarify the vision you want to make reality; review your context realistically; then make a plan to bring the dream into reality and take action. There’s much fun to be had in 2021 - whatever Covid dictates.

For now, look for every bit of joy that is to be had, whatever Tier you are in. Merry Christmas.