Trusting, Listening, Watching, Exploring and Wondering

Life is a bit of a mystery isn’t it? And that can be both daunting and exciting, especially when something unexpected comes along.

As we live within this mystery, I would suggest that the journey into a fulfilling life can be helped by adopting the following:

1. Trusting that there is a route that will take us towards our best self

2. Listening to the positive inner voice of our champion (rather than the saboteur that spews negatives) and to others who we know care for us

3. Watching for those signs that come up by ‘coincidence’ and a pervading sense of peace despite any nervousness about making changes, thereby affirming our direction of travel

4. Exploring and testing out new ideas/behaviours/rhythms in life just as we might try on a piece of clothing to see if it fits and suits us

5. Wondering - with a sense of awe as, through our mindful choices, our life takes a healthy direction that causes us to flourish.

It is never too late to make changes that will put you on the road to fulfilment. I’d love to be your companion on that journey. Contact me for a discovery call to see if you want to invite me along!

Boundaries

As a coach it is an important part of my work with people to distinguish between the barriers that hold them back and the boundaries that are needed.

For example - there was a mother, whose influence over her adult daughter resulted in the daughter having no boundaries. Whenever what she wanted conflicted with her mother’s wishes, she did what her mother wanted. It went beyond that because her behaviour was inhibited by what she assumed her mother might think.

Who is influencing your decisions? When do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’? How often do you feel angry at yourself for the way you let others dominate you - even when you know that is not their conscious intention.

The good news is that setting healthy boundaries can be learned. And with the help of a coach (pick me!) you can establish boundaries both in your personal relationships and at work. You will gradually take responsibility for what is within your boundaries and not be laden with those that belong to others. You will be free to make choices that fit with your vision, intentions and values. You will define who you are and who you are not and develop your ‘no’ muscle. Your empowerment will mean you will longer retreat into blaming others or feeling like a victim. You will respond rather than react and deal with others with grace - accepting them for who they are - while persevering to walk tall as the real you.

Unconscious Bias

This is a hard one. Hard to discern when it happens in our community and in our own behaviour. Because it is UNCONSCIOUS. The way we think and act is, to a great extent, based on how we were brought up - our family, the school we attended, the friends we had etc. There will have been things that we noticed, disliked and decided to not to incorporate in our own life. But the unconscious things have to be brought to our attention. And that is uncomfortable.

A black friend of mine has helped me start to uncover and better understand how a white person unconsciously can make someone of different ethnicity feel ‘other’. And we all hate that don’t we? My awareness was also raised when I went to a country where people stared aggressively at me at because of being white and female.

I have people I care about who are trans and have suffered all kinds of abuse. We may be more aware of how difficult it is for people of disability to be treated equally. Oh dear. What a world. How can we make it better?

This morning I hear this question asked of a black female church leader and she said it would take time. We need to be committed to that change and become much more self-aware of our ingrained attitudes, the language we use and any ways in which we treat people as ‘other’. May we be forgiven, clean up our attitudes and do life together with respect, love and compassion.

Discover and Use Your Talents

Good morning, afternoon or evening - depending on where you live as you read or listen to this post.

At the beginning of my day I listened to someone talking about how we use the talents that have been given to us. It doesn’t matter whether they are important in the eyes of the world or modest. The point is that we use those abilities, and develop them and, as we do, notice that makes life flow better. To those who have been given much, much will be expected of them. You may wish for skills that you see in others, but start where you are and develop what you have been given.

I remember saying to a colleague one day “thank you for your smile and welcome each day - it helps me to feel positive about the day ahead”. She had a natural ability to make people coming through the door to feel welcome. She happened to be the receptionist but she could have used that natural talent in hospitality or, if she wanted to travel, as a member of an aeroplane cabin crew; roles where that natural ability of hers would be really important.

When you are aware of the skills that come naturally to you, you can use them in all areas of life. And, if we think of the workplace, there are roles that will suit those skills and, as you develop them, you will be able to make the most of what has been given to you. Your attention to detail will make events run smoothly, your ability with numbers will make your company keep good accounts, your creative ideas will keep your company on the cutting edge of your sector, your love of learning how things work will make you build powerful engines. You see?

I love to see people make the most of their talents; sometimes they need to start by recognising what those are. Easy to make light of the things that come naturally to us. Then comes the discovery of the many ways those talents could be used with experience in the appropriate roles and training in some relevant areas. There might be work to do in order to develop your self-confidence.

I love coaching because I see people become empowered to be the fullness of who they are. They might want coaching in respect of gaining a promotion, finding out who they are after years of trying to be like someone else, they may feel powerless under the dominance of a colleague or family member.

Whatever your need, I would love to support you to be set free to thrive in the fullness of who you were always destined to be. That is why I offer a free discovery call so that you can decide if I am the sort of person with whom you can be totally honest and sense that you will feel safe as I encourage you to step outside the box and remove the blockages you have felt keep tripping you up.

Please contact me and let’s start the conversation.

Learning from babies

They learn so FAST. My youngest grandson is 4 months old. Each DAY he learns something new. Today’s development was reaching for something and using both hands to get it to his mouth. He had to keep trying and he succeeded - though he hasn’t yet caught onto the fact that you have to let go, otherwise what you lifted to your mouth comes out again!

We get slower in learning as time goes by but what is important to remember is to keep trying. Don’t give up. Build your ‘muscles’ as you learn new things. Don’t be embarrassed about the failures on the way. Celebrate the progress. AND - learn how and when to let go.

Some years ago I knew someone who had not passed his probation in a finance job. Family had expected him to go into that line of work but it was not his strength. He found it really difficult to let go and discern where his true strengths lay. Are you holding onto an ambition that is a poor fit? When you work to your strengths it is SO much easier; you will find life begins to flow; you won’t be so exhausted and have more energy to give to the rest of life.

I’d love to help you explore your strengths so that you can be set free to flourish in all aspects of life. Please contact me for a complimentary discovery call for your first breakthrough.

Lengthening days & strategic plans

Hurrah! The days are getting longer. I’m starting to plan what I will change in the garden and think about what I haven’t yet done - such as treat the fruit trees with anti-fungal spray.

I’m also planning my own business; what will the rhythm be that will bring in the income I want and give time for other pursuits? Having decided on my RAP and TAP programmes (Rapid Action Programme and Transformational Programme) how do I best promote it so that the people I know I can support, will find me?

What loose ends need tying up right now in your life? What is your strategy for the next few years? How are you doing with the plan to bring your vision into being? Have your prioritised actions effectively so that nothing falls through the gaps? What ARE the gaps? How have you included flexibility in order to meet the changing landscape we face because of the global pandemic? Do you have a sense of joy and expectation as you put strategy and plans together?

I’m ready and fully able to help you in all of this. Having a pair of ears to hear your answers to the above helps you to decide on and take action and then evaluate outcomes. Don’t battle on alone, contact me for a free discovery call. I’m for you.

Let your light shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

This is a very important quote for me and explains my purpose in being a coach. Nelson Mandela also used it in a speech when he became President. In my work I want every client to be liberated into letting their own light shine. Start your journey into self-liberation and out of playing small by having a free discovery call with me.

Out of control

That’s what it feels like to me when watching the videos of the behaviour of Trump supporters last Wednesday. Now there is fear about what might happen over the coming week.

Then we have the Covid virus that seems to be out of control. The vaccine will win but we have a way to go before it does.

So how are you doing? Does your life seem out of your control at the moment? Does fear or anxiety wake you up in the night?

I’ve worked with many people who, for one reason or another, have felt that they were not in control at home or at work, either because they were not heard or because their lack of confidence made them defer to others all the time. So their ideas were taken forward by those others who got the praise or difficult situations were made worse because their suggested approach was talked down.

Coaching is empowering and I would love to work with you to help the true you step up and out into your power, calling and gifting. Don’t tolerate your situation any longer; contact me for a complimentary discovery call to get a taste of the power of coaching. I’m for you.

Abandoning Melancholy

I was having a conversation with someone a few days ago, who talked of his growing sense of melancholy in respect of the social restrictions of Covid lockdown. Weary is another word with which I resonated.

It’s not just Covid that can cause such negative feelings; it can be a job that seems to be going nowhere and you know you are just going through the motions; or a lifestyle - hobbies, friendships etc. - that no longer energise or give pleasure or affect you negatively. You tell yourself to shake out of it but that melancholia remains and life seems DULL.

Change is calling you; courage may be needed; discernment will definitely be required - no throwing baby out with the bathwater! Some life-giving changes are big but sometimes a big difference will be made through a tweak here and there. The main thing is to investigate what is no longer working and get the help of a coach (me!) to engender vision, bring some clarity and find the actions that will set you on the path to a life that makes you happy to jump out of bed at the start each day.

Please get in touch for a complimentary call to experience how helpful a programme of coaching could be for you. Message me or go onto my website, link in the first comment. Let’s get going!

Learning from the Woodpecker

There’s a Greater Spotted Woodpecker that visits my garden and has worked out a way of eating the sunflower seeds that other birds of it’s size can’t manage to do. While small birds sit on the bar and bend down to the seeds, the woodpecker hangs on and reaches up. Thus displaying his pretty orangey-pink tummy. He worked out how to adapt his feeding style to the circumstances. The blackbirds haven’t worked it out.

How will you adapt to the multiple changes that Covid has forced upon you? What do you need to consider in this new year? How will you find a rhythm in a life that currently seems so uncertain? What will bring you peace? I can help you untangle, prioritise and put in place a framework that will stand the buffeting that change brings. Not a new you - a full you, flexible and flying free. Message me or contact me via the website. I’m full of hope for you.

Approaching the end of 2020

Time for reflection isn’t it?

What have you done?

What have you left undone?

How will you want to look back on 2021? Yes, I know we will still have restrictions, but we will continue to be able to make choices that will impact the present and the future. So what will be important to do and be in the coming year?

There have been times in this odd year when it has been too easy to ‘let things go’ - do you agree? But that lack of energy can become a habit and dull the senses to what is good and positive.

So I am resolved to reflect over the coming week on what I really, REALLY want for the coming year. For me, I know it will be around how I engage, in whatever I do, with quality. Letting all my senses savour the positive aspects and learning from what upsets or challenges me. And also to learn a new rhythm that will suit the changes I have made and aid peace of mind.

I remember someone talking to me about losing weight. After she had reached her target she allowed herself the occasional treat. However, she only went for quality. An expensive and exquisite chocolate; a croissant that was light and crisp. Not for her was a cheap old bar of chocolate or a flabby croissant. She savoured quality in her choices.

How might you want to experience living life to the full in 2021? Perhaps you will be able to take your first steps towards the kind of living your heart yearns for.

• What will you no longer do that was taking your time without giving anything back?

• What are you holding onto that you know is not healthy for you - what you watch, read, eat, or a relationship?

• What are you tolerating?

I have many more questions to help you unlock how you can live life to the full. Do message me and we can arrange to have a complimentary call..

How are you doing?

I’m in Tier 4. So the normal family Christmas of 16+ people will be reduced to me, my daughter and her 3-month old baby. How fortunate I feel to have them next door as my ‘bubble’.

What has struck me, several times, in the last 9 months, is how often people talk about change, the new normal and getting back to normal. One thing we have learned, increased in the new variant of Covid, is that change can happen quickly, taking us by surprise. Then when it persists, we wonder if we will ever get back to normal. At this point we are in danger of losing hope and positive vision for the future. A bit like when you have a tummy bug and you can’t remember what it feels like to be well because you are so consumed with feeling sick.

But I’m here to encourage you; you are far more resilient than you give yourself credit for. 2021 will continue to have challenges around Covid but you can find your way into the future you want despite that. You can become stronger, more persevering, increasing your ability to think creatively and you can choose to put these strengths into the context of being a caring and compassionate person. Your wellbeing for 2021 and beyond is in your hands. I’m here to support you too; that’s what I do as a coach - help you to clarify the vision you want to make reality; review your context realistically; then make a plan to bring the dream into reality and take action. There’s much fun to be had in 2021 - whatever Covid dictates.

For now, look for every bit of joy that is to be had, whatever Tier you are in. Merry Christmas.

The Old Coat Doesn't Fit

When what IS doesn’t seem to feel right anymore but we don’t know how to change things - and we may be afraid of change - it can be a time of desolation. God may seem far off and not helping much. Our faith may seem like an old coat that no longer fits.

It is during such a time that spiritual direction can be particularly helpful. A spiritual director doesn’t direct - they are more like a facilitator who helps the directee to explore their relationship with God. In that exploration they will feel the full support of the director and know that they can say exactly how they are feeling and what they are thinking without any fear of feeling judged. The director has an open heart and an open mind.

Religion sometimes can become like a straightjacket; I don’t know why that happens but I suspect it is to do with the human inclination to want to be in control. So we make rules - and even if they are not definite rules, there can be a feeling of what is expected of a person in that church community.

Yet God is endlessly creative and simply calls us into relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit - a relationship in itself. Relationships change over time so I wonder why it is that we feel we can’t ask the challenging questions. Why do we tolerate what is OK? Is it because we fear that opening up will create irreparable damage? Yet intimacy in the relationship is dulled and diminished when we are not able to be open with one another. And when we delay that honest communication, our expression of it can be the cause of the damage we fear.

Kind David was described as ‘a man after God’s own heart’ yet he led a far from perfect life and complained bitterly to God, as we can read in Psalms. So David was very honest with God in both how he felt let down by Him and how he loved, worshiped and delighted in his heavenly Father.

If you feel weary and heavy laden; if you feel you are in a desert place - maybe consider finding a spiritual director who can be your companion and support as you find your way back into a thriving relationship with the Trinity. Perhaps now is the time to commit to the nurturing of your earthly as well as your spiritual relationships in 2021.

Perspectives and Collaboration

I’m planning to reconfigure part of my garden. Small budget, big ideas. I thought my ideas were pretty good, but need some muscle power to help, and someone kindly offered. We had an initial chat through my rough plans. He is a very experienced gardener and looked uncertain about trying to bend a path without it looking a bit odd where I wanted it to be. He thought a raised flowerbed was often a pain in the summer as, especially if narrow, would dry out easily. Then he thought my idea of a couple of trees at the bottom would be even better if I cleared the ancient Elder and planted several trees with interesting winter bark.

I could have pushed my ideas. I could have said that I like the cascade of elderflowers that the old shrub gives. But, on all counts his perspectives helped me to think again. And I will go to Anglesey Abbey later this week to see their winter garden as my helper suggested.

My questions for today, based on this story are:

1. Are you insisting on your own way and not listening to other #perspectives with an open mind?

2. Are you inviting others to #collaborate with you and make your ideas bigger/bolder/more appropriate to the circumstances?

3. Are you unwilling to let go of something that has served its purpose in the past but now needs to make way for new ways of working?

As your coach I will:

• suggest you look at your situation from several perspectives.

• challenge you to re-examine what you are holding on to.

• support you to discern what is getting in the way of you taking the actions needed to navigate the path to making your vision a reality.

• encourage you to think through who might collaborate with you to enhance the ideas you have or to help you with the parts that you are not able to do.

#Coaching helps everyone in all situations. Let’s have an exploratory call to prove that to you!

What behaviours from others would you like to be vaccinated against?

I’m curious - what are your suggestions?

What ‘vaccine’ would help you to be healthier in body, mind, emotions and spirit?

I would choose to have a vaccine that would protect me from the behaviours of people who are: #bullying, #controlling, #unkind, #disempowering, #selfish.

Christmas will be different this year, of course, and life will continue to be restricted for several months. So what are we hoping for? Christmas is a season when we get the family films, gifts exchanged, meals eaten with family and friends. All that will be a bit different this year. I’m usually with at least 16 family members but this year there will be 7.

What is is usually like for you? Tempers can get frayed and some may show their unkind or selfish side. Some will want their own way - who has the remote control and decides on what to watch in your family gatherings after the meal and walk?

As we think of this different Christmas and what we hope for, what are you noticing by reflecting on Christmases in the past? What nice things might have a chance to show themselves?

How will you decide to ‘be’? If there’s a controlling person amongst you, how will you choose to show up without a vaccine to protect you? What courage will you decide to demonstrate to prevent them doing a take over?

I hope that none of us will feel the need for a vaccine against negative behaviours and that we will enjoy one another’s company at a deeper, more relational and positive level.

If you’d like to have a discovery call with me and use it to talk through how you will be empowered to fully enjoy your Christmas with the people you spend time with - do get in touch.

When Change is Forced Upon You

Some changes that get forced upon us:

• A house move - maybe by choice or required for a new job

• Organisational restructure with associated changes in responsibilities

• Returning from a year’s Maternity Leave and finding changes have taken place in your absence - perhaps due to changes that the person covering your maternity leave has made

• Organisational downsizing, causing redundancies

• A relationship that has come to an end

• A bereavement causing heartache and the need to learn how to do those things your partner used to take care of

We all know that change is always happening, all around us. However, there are times when it seems to hit us harder because our emotions are affected - whether we want to admit it or not. Even if the change is also exciting, we will often have fears to be overcome.

I was walking recently with a client and we stopped to ponder by a large pond; the reflection of one of the trees seemed to call for my attention. I noticed that its reflection in the water made it seem larger than it was and that, when all said and done, it was just a reflection - a shadow if you like. Change can be a bit like that - the shadow it casts, temporarily, over our life is just that; a shadow. Looked at from a different perspective, it would change shape and quite possibly be something rather beautiful. This is why, in coaching, we will look at a situation from several perspectives. This brings a greater depth of understanding and increases the ability to see different options and possibilities, such as:

• Creating a new home and making new friends

• Looking at new ways of working that can use skills that have laid dormant

• Considering what is important now that there is a baby at home

• Asking yourself what you would like to do in life with the breathing space that redundancy pay would give you

• Thinking about how you might be a more authentic version of yourself now that a destructive relationship is no longer causing you to tolerate what is intolerable

• Gaining new skills and reaching out to those who want to support you and need your invitation to do so

Change may not always be easy but it can be sometimes and to some extent it will be what you make it. If change is in your life, reach out to me and let’s have a discovery call. I am on your side, determined to help you explore how to make the most of the changes and always empathetic when your heart is hurting in the midst of it all.

Holistic Coaching

There is an aspect around the types of coaching that is similar to the way HR is organised in different companies. Some will break down the HR function into specialisms such as employment law, learning & development or reward, and some will have people labelled as ‘generalist’. I’ve worked in that final category both in the corporate sector and for small and medium sized charities. Then within coaching you get the Executive Coaches; Health Coaches; Recruitment Coaches - many, many more specialist areas. Sometimes we refer to the specialism as a niche.

Whilst I think of myself as a generalist kind of a coach - because I’ve coached people wanting to retire, be a stand up comic, wanting a successful relationship, wanting promotion at work - etc., etc. I also see that my niche thread, that runs through it all, is to see each person empowered to be set free to thrive as the best version of themselves - within whatever situation they find themselves and whatever issue they are doing battle with and feeling disempowered by.

In HR I would say to colleagues that the whole person comes to work and that they are not just the the embodiment of their job title and related responsibilities. They don’t leave the rest of their life at the door of the office. This means that when I coach, I’m looking for the blocks in their life that are preventing them from showing up in the strength of their abilities and gaining the life that they are longing to lead - whether that be an enhancement of what they have or a complete change. These blocks can be long-standing habits or self-perception that has been ingrained over the years through upbringing or negative life experiences.

If you know that the TRUE YOU is not showing up, there can be no better time than NOW to change that. Now is the time to release your true potential, to stop making excuses, to courageously admit to yourself what you want in life and then make plans to achieve it, having kicked away the blocks that have been tripping you up over all these years.

Message me to set up an exploratory call; the cost of that is nothing and it will open the door to SO much.

Tantrum to Insights

I didn’t start last week well (sorry for a bit of repetition from Tuesday’s post but I’ve reflected further and have more to say). You know how it is when a LOT of small things that do not get resolved wear you down? Well here were some of the contributing factors:

1. The lawnmower came back from a service and, when I started it, black smoke puffed out and it stopped working so is now back with the service people

2. The laptop and printer won’t talk; HP sent me a new printer but the new one is also not communicating so I guess it has to be a laptop problem; still unresolved

3. The shower leaks; waited for the plumber who said it’s the seal and crack in grouting so a tiler is needed - not found one yet who can come before February

4. This is the big one - my vision of creating a garden for quiet days and retreats needs some landscaping and I’m too arthritic to do it all

5. I couldn’t find the power cable for the printer and searched high and low for 2 days

So on Monday it all came to a head and I angrily asked God why He wasn’t helping me. I felt very sorry for myself.

The thread running through all of this is that they were all problems that I couldn’t fix. I needed help.

The second point is that I found the missing cable a couple of days after my tantrum; it was exactly where it should have been but was cunningly disguised by being muddled up with another cable - so I didn’t see it.

It was time to coach myself. My question was “What are these frustrations teaching you Shelagh?” And my insights were:

1. We all need help from time to time. It is often pride that stops us from admitting it. It is nice for people to be able to help - that’s what fosters collaboration and grows a compassionate society.

   • I decided to reach out via a neighbourhood website and two people have offered to come and help with the heavy garden work

2. Sometimes we don’t see what is right under our nose. It might be because we are so caught up in what is going wrong that this blurs our vision. Or perhaps we just can’t discern between the good and the best of different options

So what are you tolerating? What are the frustrations in your life? What is the vision that seems beyond your reach to bring into being? What might you be missing as you look without discernment?

I’d love to work with you as your coach to help you transform your situation. It might be a big change that is needed or something subtle - like the small movement of a boat’s rudder that takes you to a very different destination.

Message me and tell me what going on in your life; I listen attentively, reflect back what I hear for clarity and ask questions that will crack open issues to their heart and root and stand with you as you decide how to move forward.

Changing Your Pants

One of my sisters used to lecture in organisational change at a university. Just to get them paying attention, she would start the first lecture with “Hands up who changed their pants from yesterday’s this morning?” All hands would go up. “Was that difficult?” she asked. And then she proceeded to tell them that change is inevitable and so we had all better get used to it and embrace it when it is necessary.

But the fact is that for some people change is always difficult, no matter how necessary they admit it to be.

For others, it is forced upon them and their reaction can be open rebellion or passive-aggressive compliance - or they simply become disengaged and unhappy.

Of course, some people embrace change and find it exciting. And change happens, just like the seasons. So if you are someone who finds change difficult and you either know it is on it’s way or it is already happening around you and you know you are going to have to change with it - let’s talk about it on a call. Sometimes just telling someone about it, and hearing your own voice speaking out the ways in which you fear it will negatively affect you, can help you:

• to see it in a different light and recognise the possible benefits

• to better articulate the negatives and decide who you will speak to about them

• to look a little deeper into what might lie behind your resistance to the change and find ways to reduce the impact on you.

People keep talking about returning to normal don’t they? And then we hear others talk about a ‘new normal’, whatever that will be. Life is full of changes at the moment - with where we can go and who we can be with. This is impacting a great many people and if you sense it is time to face up to the fact that you are finding the current climate really tough because of all the changes, do please get in touch; I’d love to help.

Burying Your Talent

So, there’s this great story of a man going away on a journey and speaking to three men who worked for him. He gave one 3 talents (one talent being worth about 20 years of a labourer’s wages = a lot), one 2 talents and to the third 1 talent. You may be familiar with this story. The first two men used their talents and doubled their worth by the time the boss came back. But the third thought about all the trouble he might get into if his choices went wrong and so he just buried it.

Right - now think of talents being things you are good at or would love to have the opportunity to use, if you had the chance, rather than money. Now consider what you don’t do because you are afraid it might go wrong. As a result, you bury the talent that you would like to use because you know you have much to learn in order for it to add value in the workplace or enhance your out of work life.

Hmmm. What is stirring in you right now?

About 17 years ago I had a friend (yes really!) and he seemed to me to be full of unused talents. So I gave him the benefit of my advice and continued to encourage him. That was my perspective anyway. He, on the other hand, got fed up with it and ended up saying “Shelagh, I know you think you know what is best for me but I don’t agree and I don’t want to change”. That cut continued to hurt for some time. All I wanted to do was help. But I needed to learn how to do so effectively. My talent needed to be ‘invested’.

About 8 years later I trained to be a coach. Here I learned how to listen at a deep level; how to ask big open questions that would help my clients think outside their self-limitations. I learned that my desire to help people was best served in journeying with them as they discovered for themselves what they wanted from life and to make their own decisions based on their learning and not from someone else’s advice. Of course there is a time and place for advice to be given, but not by the coach. We exist to serve our clients and use our training and experience to help and encourage them as they learn more about themselves, the desires of their heart, the reality of their situation and the possibilities and options that are there for the taking.

What a privilege it is. I’m so glad that the sting of my friend’s comment eventually led me to find a way of helping that would be effective and liberating for my clients; and also a way of relating to family and friends that keeps me listening and asking questions that help me understand them and their situation better.

If you would like to get a feel of what it is like to have the support of a coach, please message me and we can have an exploratory chat. I’m for you.